I woke this morning wishing it was just a nightmare! I’m still in shock from the cruelty, the agony, and the shame of yesterday. I know he is the son of the living God. I saw the miracles… I saw the healing. I never thought I would turn my face from him. I certainly didn’t think I could ever do that not once… not twice… but three times. I feel such shame, such hatred for my actions. Now I face my first day without him. My first Saturday without his touch, without the love in his eyes. I am struggling with why he didn’t save himself. Why did he not call his angel armies to rush to his side? Because he didn’t… I face this Saturday with uncertainty. I face this day alone and in silence. I will spend my life in service to him even if he doesn’t come back as he told me he would.
Are there times you feel like Peter? Times when you feel he is not to be found. Many times I feel like Peter. Thinking I could never turn my face from him, then I knowingly sin again. I knowingly do things that make him sad. At times I sit in silence, as Peter did on Saturday, and I doubt if he is there. Father forgive me for my doubt. For my lack of faith. For my lack of patience. Forgive me for my sin and fill my spirit with your presence… with your peace.
Come Lord Come!!
I Love You!